Mister Ed and the Blessed Events
by Stretch Snodgrass
Summary: The Posts are expecting an addition to their family. But how will Mister Ed feel now that he'll have to play second fiddle to a new baby. Features the Addisons as the neighbours, and short appearances by Mr. Drysdale and Miss Hathaway from the Beverley Hillbillies. Reviews appreciated.
1. Wilbur Post at Work

Mister Ed and the Blessed Events

The Posts are expecting an addition to their family. But how will Mister Ed feel now that he has to pay second fiddle to a new baby? Inspired by the episode "The Blessed Event."

This story has Roger and Kay Addison as the Posts' neighbours.

Wilbur Post at Work

Wilbur Post was working in his neat red barn with the white trim. Of course, he wasn't doing any farming, he was an architect who had his office in the small building. His best friend lived in the other part of the barn. His best friend - the world's one and only talking horse, Mister Ed.

"Wil-burr" said Mister Ed, pushing open the top of the stall door, and turning his head towards the only man in the world to whom he would speak. "Can you give me some more carrots. I'm hungry."

"You have plenty of hay in your stall," said Wilbur, who was busy at his desk.

"I don't want any hay," sulked Mister Ed. "Carrots and apples are so much crispier and juicier. The least you can do is give me some nice orange carrots, since you've banned me from the apple tree next door."

Mister Ed was very smart, usually kind-hearted, but sometimes very childish and spoiled.

"Hay is the best thing for a horse," Wilbur responded, still working on the blueprint in front of him. "But I suppose some carrots aren't going to hurt you. Just wait until I'm finished."

"Wait until your finished?" Mister Ed complained. "Isn't your best buddy a higher priority than that plan you're working on? You told me yourself it isn't very important?"

"No, I told you it wasn't very big. I treat all my work as _important_," said Wilbur conscientiously. "The Floods' . . . .

"That's a funny name," snickered Ed.

"The Floods," continued Wilbur, "have a new child and are adding a room to their home."

"Let's hope they didn't name the tyke Elmer," said Mister Ed.

"No," said Wilbur, smiling. "They named her Florence."

"That's a nice name," commented Mister Ed. "But for a human not a horse."

"Well" said Wilbur. "Someday when you meet the right filly and get married, you'll be able to name your colts whatever you want. Meanwhile, I've finished the plans for the new room, so I can give you your carrots."

Wilbur removed a key from his pocket.

"That was a dirty trick," Mister Ed commented, "locking them in your desk and hiding the key in the house,"

"If I hadn't," said Wilbur, "you would've eaten them all up again, and I would have had to have gone to the store for more.

Wilbur unlocked his desk and removed the carrots, before feeding them to Mister Ed.

"These are delicious," said Ed through a mouthful of crunchy carrot.

"Don't speak with your mouthful, Ed," said Wilbur. "These are the best carrots they had at the store. Some new variety, pretty expensive too."

"I don't know what you're doing talking to that old plug," snapped a older man, who had just entered the room as Wilbur finished speaking. "The stupid beast can't understand a word you say.

The newcomer was a rather stodgy looking man sporting a mustache and a particularly grumpy expression. He was Wilbur's best (human) friend and neighbour. Known as Roger to the Posts when addressed in person, he was usually referred to as Addison (his last name) at all other times.

Oddly enough, Roger was known as "Addison" to most everyone else (in person or not), including his own wife.

Mister Ed snorted, retreated back into his stall, and pulled the door shut behind him. Mister Ed didn't like Addison. He often referred to him as old brush face.

"You shouldn't have done that," said Wilbur. "You've hurt Mister Ed's feelings."

"Nonsense," sneered Addison. "Why you baby that fat clown I'll never know. Anyway, right now I've got far bigger problems."

"Why, what's the matter?" asked Wilbur.

"Today, it has been my misfortune to drive Kay into town today to pay a visit to our doctor and her usurious hairdresser."

"Why didn't you just lend her the car?"

"It was a new plan of mine. If I drive Kay into town and arrange to drive her home once again she can't run around visiting the department stores and spending me into impecuniousness. Even if she were to make the attempt, I'll be there to pick her up, waylay her, and return her wasteful purchases."

"That's clever," admitted Wilbur. "But I couldn't scheme like that against Carol."

"What scheming?" said Addison. "Besides, your Carol doesn't spend money like my Kay. Anyway, it doesn't really matter. My plan backfired."

"What happened?" said Wilbur.

"I failed to provide for one little detail. Taxicabs."

"Taxicabs?"

"Kay doublecrossed me. She summoned a taxicab to take her home. She telephoned me saying she had a taxi full of _bargains_ she bought, and claimed I'd be delighted! She hung up before I could even protest! I don't know how much more of this my wallet can take!"

Mister Ed snickered from his location behind the stall door, where he had been carefully eavesdropping.

"What was that?" asked Addison.

"Nothing," said Wilbur quickly. "What do you want me to do? I don't want to be involved in a fight between you and Kay."

"I don't want much. When I give the word, help me take those infernal packages back to the store. I'm not as young as I used to be."

Mopping his brow with his fine silk handkerchief, Addison left the barn.

Mister Ed opened his stall door and laughed.

"Ol' brush face is quite a cheapskate."

"He is tight, isn't he?" Wilbur admitted. "But don't call him ol' brush face. Addison's a good man and a fine friend."

"I'll stop calling him names when he stops calling me an old plug" Mister Ed replied.

"Poor Roger," said Wilbur, ignoring Mister Ed and rolling up his plans. "Kay's a good friend, but the smallest sale and Roger's bank balance takes the dive. Lucky for me, I don't have to worry about my Carol. She'd never spend so much money behind my back."

"That's because it's so easy to get money from you up front," replied Mister Ed, turning to eat the hay he had so recently dismissed. "Face it Wilbur, when Carol calls, you go a-running."

"No I don't!" said Wilbur indignantly.

Just then the telephone rang.

"I'll get it," said Mister Ed.

"No, it's okay," said Wilbur.

It was Carol.

"Hello, Wilbur?"

"Hi Carol, who'd you expect, Mister Ed?" laughed Wilbur, looking at the horse.

Mister Ed snorted.

"Oh Wilbur, this is no time for jokes," laughed Carol.

"Are you still in the house?"

"Yes, I'd like you to come in for a moment. It's important."

"I'll be there in a couple minutes," said Wilbur.

The two said their goodbyes and hung up.

"It's Carol," Wilbur explained to Mister Ed.

"I would have never guessed," the horse responded.

"I wonder what the matter is," said Wilbur as he exited the barn without remembering to say goodbye. "She hardly ever calls me from the house."

"Hmph," Mister Ed said to himself. "Just like I told him, when Carol calls he goes a-running . . . But I suppose that's the way it should be."

Mister Ed thought for a moment.

"Come to think of it, it is strange for Carol to call him from the house . . . I think I'll mosey over to the window and try to find out what's up."


	2. Mister Ed and the Big News

Mister Ed and the Big News

Carol was sitting on the sofa, beaming, when Wilbur entered the house through the sliding door in back . . . nearly tripping over the threshold as he did so.

"Oh Wilbur," she said, "Please sit down before you hurt yourself!"

"Is anything the matter?" said Wilbur, sitting beside Carol.

"I just want to make sure you're sitting before I tell you the news," she said.

"People!" scoffed Mister Ed, looking in a nearby window. "Horses always take news, good or bad, standing up."

However, Mister Ed was starting to get curious himself. Something big was going on.

"If it's any bad news I want it straight up!" said Wilbur, who was getting concerned.

"Bad news!" exclaimed Carol. "It's good news, the best news in the world!"

"Please don't tell me your father's coming to stay with us again," groaned Wilbur.

"Better than that . . . though we'll probably be expecting a visit from Father _and _Mother sometime soon!"

"Both of them?" asked Wilbur despondently.

"Yes," said Carol rather sternly, determinedly ignoring Wilbur's pained expression. _And _your father as well. You see, we're expecting a blessed event.

Wilbur's face was blank for a few seconds.

"A blessed event . . . a baby! This is wonderful Carol . . . I've got to get your suitcase ready . . . We've got to pack . . . I've got to buy cigars to pass out . . . a blessed event . . . a baby . . . I guess I'll give Mister Ed carrots instead of a cigar, he doesn't smoke . . . Carol why aren't you lying down? . . . a blessed event!"

"Calm down Wilbur," said Carol, laughing. "The blessed event isn't for months yet."

"C-calm down?" asked Wilbur. "I'm perfectly c-calm, I'm h-happy. Your-re right, Carol, this is the best news in the world!"

The two of them hugged.

"A baby!" said Mister Ed to himself, as he left the window and slowly wandered back to his stall. "Couldn't happen to nicer people than Wilbur and Carol. If it's a boy Wilbur might name him after me! Why, Wilbur and Carol will be happy to have a child . . . they be playing with the tyke . . . feeding it, taking care of it, all their attention going to it . . . .

Mister Ed started to cry.

"Why Wilbur'll forget all about his buddy now that he'll have a child of his own.

While Mister Ed was moping, he hear a car pull up next door.

"Kay must be home with her taxicab full of stuff," said Mister Ed through his tears. "I might as well see her argue with cheapskate Addison. That'll get my mind off this news."

Mister Ed peered from behind the wooden fence separating his yard from that of the Addison's. A tall brunette woman in early middle age was just leaving the cab - Kay Addison.

"Just take the packages into the living room, driver," said she. "I want to show them to my husband before I put them away . . . he'll flip when he sees them."

"He'll flip alright," said the driver, heading towards the trunk.

"He'll flip is right!" said Addison, who had been spying out the front window and now made his appearance. "They're all going back to the store!"

"Addison, doll, watch your language!" said Kay, "Just wait til you see what I bought!"

"Yeah just you wait, mac," added the taxi driver, opening the trunk.

The entire trunk was filled with bags and boxes, not to mention the entire back seat of the cab.

"You stay out of this!" said Addison to the driver, before turning his attention to Kay and the taxi full of merchandise. "I don't care what you've "bought" it's going back to the store," said Addison indignantly.

"Doll, hadn't we better talk about this inside," said Kay.

"Inside!" Addison exclaimed, green to the gills just looking at the car full of his wife's purchases. "This stuff is going back!"

"Then I'll show you here," Kay said pointedly.

"I won't look," Addison replied.

"Doll, just one box!"

"Well . . . one box couldn't hurt."

Kay handed Addison the topmost box. Addison looked inside it. There was a tiny set of dishes, all illustrating a barn, some chickens, a cow and a horse on it. There was also a bib with a matching design.

Addison looked at it quizzically.

"Who's supposed to eat from these - and that horse looks suspiciously like that plug from next door!

Mister Ed snorted, from his hiding place behind the fence. Only the taxi driver noticed, and it made the driver very uncomfortable. It seemed as if the horse was picking up every word the Addisons were saying!

"Try this one," said Kay sardonically, handing her husband a bag this time.

Addison carefully returned the dishes to the box (he couldn't return broken merchandise) and removed the contents from the bag. Baby blocks.

Addison was silent for a moment.

"Are these all . . . for a baby?" he asked.

"Yes," said Kay, nodding eagerly.

"Who . . . had the blessed event," Addison asked carefully, not wanting to jump to conclusions.

"We're _expecting _a blessed event, doll," said Kay, smiling at Addison's suddenly beaming face.

She pulled out the baby blocks at the bottom of the bag. These were glued together, spelling the word "ADDISON"

"How wonderful," said Addison, hugging his wife in a rare show of emotion. "After all these years."

"Don't worry Addison doll, I'll dry away those tears," said Kay, expertly picking the silk handkerchief from her husband's pocket.

"Bring these things in" said Addison to the driver. "We're keeping everything!"

"Yes sir," said the taxi driver. He was eager to get away from that suspicious looking horse. However, he needn't have bothered. Mister Ed had already left.

"The Addisons too," said Mister Ed sobbing as he entered his stall. "Now who's going to remember me!"


	3. Mister Ed is Forgotten

Mister Ed is Forgotten

Carol had spilled the beans to her mother and father. That much, Mister Ed knew from listening in on the extension. So far, Wilbur had remained mum, only typing out various baby names on his typewriter. Mister Ed knew Wilbur was going to keep quiet, Carol had told her mother that only the future grandparents were to know for now.

"If Wilbur's not going to tell me," Mister Ed said to himself, "I'm going to pretend not to know!"

Mister Ed had made himself thoroughly miserable, in every sense of the word, with worry and jealousy over the yet to be named baby. The fact that the Addisons were also having a baby made things worse . . . .

"Babies, babies, babies" Mister Ed sulked. "That's all I'm going to hear about for the rest of my life . . . ."

Mister Ed dozed off and began to dream.

_He dreamt he was waken by the sound of several babies crying. He looked into Wilbur's office to see a nursery with five cribs and five babies. Five nurses were singing the babies five different lullabies and feeding the babies from five differently shaped bottles._

_"Oh no," said Mister Ed._

_Wilbur and Carol walked in._

_"Aren't they adorable?" said Carol._

_"Yes, aren't they!" said Wilbur._

_"I'm so happy we decided to have five" said Carol._

_"Nothing's too good for my wife" said Wilbur. "If the stork could bring the Dionne's Quintuplets, he can sure do the same for us!"_

_"They're so nice I wish there were twice as many!" said Carol._

_"Why not!" said Wilbur. "I've already mailed an order to the stork for double Quintuplets! It's part of a get 5, get an additional 5 free."_

_"Oh, that's wonderful!" said Carol._

_Mister Ed heard a loud flapping._

_"Oh, oh" Mister Ed said, opening his window as he saw five gigantic storks land in the yard._

_He looked into the office just in time to see the storks wheeling in five more cribs, with five more screaming babies. To make matters worse, five more nurses trooped in, removed five baby bottles from five little black bags, and began to sing five more lullabies._

_"Won't the babies bother Mister Ed?" Carol asked Wilbur._

_"Who's Mister Ed?" said Wilbur._

_The years went by. Mister Ed grew a long white beard and his entire stall was covered in cobwebs._

_"Maybe today Wilbur will remember me!" said the aged Mister Ed, as he shook off some cobwebs._

_"Shoo" he snorted at a couple of spiders who were nestled in his beard. "Stupid Spiders" he grumbled._

_Mister Ed opened the stall door leading into Wilbur's office. He gasped._

_The ten babies were asleep in the ten cribs, beside ten rocking chairs holding ten sleeping nurses. The noise of the stall door woke everybody up. The ten babies began to cry, the ten nurses awoke, removed ten baby bottles from their ten little black bags, and began to sing ten lullabies._

_"Who woke up my precious darlings?" said a much older Carol, as she entered the barn._

_"What's wrong with the children?" added the aged Wilbur Post following her in._

_"The horse must have done it," said Carol with a sigh._

_"What horse?" asked Wilbur. "Oh that one? What's he doing here?"_

_"Why don't you get rid of that old plug!" said a young boy, also entering the room. _

_Mister Ed gasped. The boy was a miniature, more youthful Roger Addison, complete with mustache._

_The original Addison also entered the barn._

_"Roger Junior has the right idea!" sneered the older man_

_"Sell that fat clown to the circus" snarled the Roger Junior._

_"No, he's much too old for the circus," said Wilbur, shaking his head._

_"Or better yet . . . the glue factory" said old Addison._

_"After all, he is disturbing the children," said Kay Addison, who suddenly appeared, scowling at Mister Ed with her arms crossed._

_"He is nothing but another mouth to feed" said Carol._

_"A very large and expensive one," Addison Senior chimed in._

_"Wilbur!" Mister Ed begged, now crying. "Please don't send me away. I'll stay in my stall and let the spiders build webs on me!"_

_However, Wilbur didn't seem to hear a word Mister Ed said._

_"That's a thought!" said Wilbur to Addison. "If you can find a glue factory that'll give me a good price, I'll gladly sell."_


	4. Mister Ed is Neglected

Mister Ed is Neglected

Mister Ed awoke with a start, his eyes wet with tears. The real Addison had entered the barn and was again talking to Wilbur.

"After that nightmare," Mister Ed wailed to himself, "I'm even happy to see him!"

"I've decided to let Kay keep her purchases," Addison was saying. "After all, it's only money."

"Only money?" asked Wilbur. "Are you feeling alright Roger?"

"Of course," said Addison. "I haven't felt this good in years. By the way, could I borrow your typewriter, I have some names I'd like to try . . . some letters I'd like to type out and my machine needs a new ribbon."

"Well . . . sure Roger," said Wilbur, somewhat doubtfully as he had his own baby names to type. But he and Carol had agreed to keep the news a secret from all but close family

Or had they?

At that moment Kay and Carol rushed in.

"Have you heard the news doll?" asked Kay.

"Of course I have."

"No, not that news . . . _the Posts _are going to have a baby!"

"Well," said Addison. "Congratulations!"

"Oh, thank you so much," said Carol.

"I thought we were going to keep it our secret?" said Wilbur quizzically.

"Well Kay told me that . . . ."

"I thought _we _were going to keep that a secret!" Addison exclaimed.

"Well, Addison doll, you know I can't hold my tongue," Kay explained.

"Of course," said Addison dryly. "When I proposed we didn't have to make any engagement announcements, half the state of California knew by noon the following day."

"Well doll, with news that good, who can keep a secret!" Kay responded.

This seemed to set the matter to mends between the Addisons, however Wilbur was still in the dark.

"Tell me, am I to be in on the secret or am I part of the other half of the state of California, the half that doesn't know?" joked Wilbur.

"Well you see, we're . . . ." started Kay.

"Not so fast," interrupted Addison, "I should at have the honours at least this one time, before I need to wander around Death Valley Junction in a futile effort to seek out the uninformed.

Addison placed an arm around his wife, and proudly (and pompously) announced:

"We are expecting an addition to our little family."

This set off a round of mutual congratulations that went on for several minutes. Mister Ed felt more annoyed than ever.

"Humans!" he thought to himself. "By the time they're finishing congratulating each other, the babies will be ten years old!"

Worst of all, Wilbur was already ignoring him!

Mister Ed sulkily wandered off to a corner of his stall and pretended to fall asleep.

Of course, Mister Ed didn't talk to anybody (or in front of anybody!) but Wilbur. Mister Ed had forgotten that there was no use in Wilbur talking to him then and there - not without Carol and the Addisons thinking he had lost his mind!

"Did you hear the good new Ed?" said Wilbur suddenly, forgetting as well.

"Wilbur," said Carol gently, "Mister Ed doesn't know what we're talking about."

"Besides," scoffed Addison. "That fat old clown's fast asleep."

"I guess he is asleep," said Wilbur, looking at Mister Ed. "Poor Ed must be tired. Oh well, I'll tell him later"

"Oh Wilbur," sighed Carol.

"I'm just kidding around," said Wilbur awkwardly. ". . . How about we all go out to dinner to celebrate!"

"That'll be wonderful" said Carol.

"Wait . . . who's paying?" asked Addison.

"I am" said Wilbur.

"Wonderful" Addison echoed.

"Diamond Roger Addison," scoffed Kay, "the last of the big spenders!"

The four parents-to-be left the barn, Mister Ed was alone and was again irritated.

"Wilbur hasn't even come back to talk to me," Mister Ed complained, forgetting that he had pretended to be asleep.

"Tells the Addisons, but not me" said Mister Ed, again forgetting that he had been pretending to be asleep ever since the secret spilled out.

"Turns my barn into a nursery, and leaves me to grow old in my stall!" Mister Ed cried, forgetting that was just a horrible nightmare.

Mister Ed suddenly remembered all that he forgotten, and said to himself hopefully, "Well maybe buddy boy will remember me when he comes home from dinner. He'll speak to me, and when the excitement begins to wear off, things'll go back to normal.

Mister Ed waited . . . and waited. It grew dark, the stars shone in the sky. Still no Wilbur. Finally, exhausted and miserable, he fell into a deep sleep. For real, this time.


	5. The Good, The Bad and Mister Ed

The Good, The Bad and Mister Ed

Mister Ed awoke late, or leastways late for him. Wilbur, having born on a farm was usually an early riser. However, he had not as yet returned to his office.

People, after all, usually woke later than their horses.

"Seven o'clock" said Mister Ed angrily, checking the alarm clock dangling from a rope in his stall. "Probably eating breakfast. That horrible stuff people eat . . . eggs, bread, meat, Cream of Wheat! Give me a good honest bucket of oats any day of the week! But with humans, no. The only time they eat oats they have to wreck them by mushing them into oatmeal!"

Everything seemed to annoy Mister Ed that morning.

"Quiet" he said to some mourning doves cooing outside his window.

The sun shone out from some clouds, through the top of the stall door and right into his eyes.

"California!" sniffed Mister Ed. "Why can't it rain more around here so I can listen to the patter of raindrops on the roof! Instead I'm being blinded by one million watts of sunlight!"

Obligingly, the sun went behind a cloud. The skies grew steadily greyer, and heavy rain began to fall. Mister Ed could hear the raindrops echoing on the roof of the barn, and the water pouring out the eavesdrops.

"Rain!" complained Mister Ed. "Noisy, cold, wet, miserable rain! I want some nice, fresh, beautiful sunlight!"

"Why do you want sunlight?" said a voice very much like his own. "Horrible stuff, even more horrible now that Wilbur has abandoned you."

"What?" said Mister Ed, suprised. "Who's there?"

"Me," said the voice, laughing furtively.

Perched above Mister Ed's left shoulder was a smaller version of himself; a miniature Ed clad in red with horns on his head.

"I can tell you how to solve your little problem and ensure you're the centre of attention once more!" said the red Ed.

"You don't want to listen to _him_. He'll only get you into trouble!" said another voice very much like Mister Ed's own."

"Who's that?" asked Mister Ed.

This voice came from Mister Ed's right shoulder, and sure enough a miniature Mister Ed in white with wings and a halo floated there.

"I'm your conscience" said the voice kindly, "And I wouldn't be jealous. Be happy for Wilbur and Carol. They won't forget you. Think how happy they are. Think how happy the Addison's are."

"Addison," scoffed the red Ed. "What do you care about him, the miserable old skinflint!"

"Yeah" said Mister Ed. "What do I care about him!"

"And the baby . . . or should I say babies," sneered red Ed. " Disgusting creatures, you don't want them around stealing Wilbur's attention and screaming every moment of the day and night!"

"They'll be in the house," objected Mister Ed's conscience. "And human babies don't scream every moment, they get older and . . . .

"Noisier" interrupted red Ed. "Those annoying creatures will grow up into children who'll come in here kicking you and pulling your tail. They'll wear those cowboy spurs and dig their heels into you!"

"Nonsense," said Mister Ed's conscience. "Wilbur will make sure they know how to treat a horse."

"A horse!" sneered red Ed. "That's all you'll be to them. Not a friend! If you listen to me you'll have Wilbur as your friend and no children!

"He's trying to trick you!" warned Mister Ed's conscience.

"Quiet!" said Mister Ed. He turned to red Ed. "How do I get rid of the brats?"

"Get rid of Carol," said red Ed with a fiendish grin. "While Wilbur's not paying attention, play tricks on her. Go into the house, mess it up. Scare her at odd hours by knocking over things in the garden. Make prank calls. Make her life so miserable she goes home to her mother.

Meanwhile, go into Addison's _precious _garden. Eat his apples . . . don't just eat the apples, chop down the tree. Ruin his flower beds. By the time you're finished Addison and his wife won't be on speaking terms with Wilbur! They'll never come over here to bother you again! _Wilbur will have to spend all his time with you!"_

"I don't think I like the idea," said Mister Ed hesitantly. "I don't want to break up Wilbur and Carol . . . or chase away Wilbur's friends. Not even Addison.

"I'm sure you don't!" said Misted Ed's conscience. "You can't be that cruel!"

"It is mean!" said Mister Ed. "Besides, I'd get into real trouble!

"Trouble!" sneered the red Ed. "You're smart enough to pull it off!"

There was a moment of silence as Mister Ed mulled it over.

"Of course I am" said the horse smugly.

"Watch it!" warned Mister Ed's conscience.

"_A horse is a horse, of course of course_," sang red Ed. "But _you're Mister Ed_!"

"It'd be hard to pull off without Wilbur finding out" said Mister Ed thoughtfully.

"Hard? Why, then speed it up!" said red Ed with his wicked laugh. "When Wilbur's out one day, just give Carol a swift kick . . . .

"KICK Carol!" shouted Mister Ed. "Why I ought to kick _you_ into next Tuesday. I can't believe I was actually listening to you!"

Red Ed's laugh went from wicked to nervous.

"Allow me," said Mister Ed's conscience, grabbing his halo with his teeth. Mister Ed's conscience flung his halo at red Ed. The halo flew quickly through the air, hitting red Ed and knocking him over. The halo returned like a boomerang and settled once again over Mister Ed's conscience.

Red Ed disappeared in a puff of black smoke.

"I'll be happy for Wilbur and Carol!" cried Mister Ed. "I'll be happy for Mrs. Addison. I'll even be happy for Addison!"

"Good," said Mister Ed's conscience. "I knew you were a virtuous horse at heart!"

"I'll even get them a present!" said Mister Ed.

"That's a great idea!" said Mister Ed conscience encouraging, upon which it vanished into thin air.

"I'll make it up to them for even thinking . . . of what I was thinking" said Mister Ed to himself.

But what to do!

Mister Ed's thoughts were interrupted by yet another familiar voice.

"Hello Ed!" said Wilbur.

Wilbur entered his office wearing a heavy raincoat and carrying an umbrella.

"Hello buddy boy!" said Mister Ed cheerfully. "Long time no see!"

"I came in to see you late last night, but you were already asleep," said Wilbur apologetically.

"No need to say your sorry," said Mister Ed honestly. "I heard the good news and I couldn't be happier for the both of you. Or for the Addisons either . . . _even _Roger."

"That's great" said Wilbur, as he took off his rain gear. "I was going to wait until this storm ended to start work, but I wanted you to know . . . _and _I wanted to get a start on my work."

"It sure is coming down" observed Mister Ed. "I _love _the rain pattering on the rooftop. I _love _the sunshine shining into my stall like a one million watt lightbulb."

Wilbur gaped at Mister Ed.

"Are you okay?" he said, concernedly.

"I've never been better," Mister Ed answered, honestly.

"You know, Ed" said Wilbur, sitting down at his desk. "I was actually afraid you might have been jealous of the attention the baby'll be getting!"

"Me! Jealous!" scoffed Mister Ed. "Ridiculous."

This was, of course, a less than honest reply. But then again, Mister Ed wasn't jealous . . . anymore.


	6. Mister Ed's Gift

Mister Ed's Gift

One morning, several months later, Mister Ed was eagerly awaiting Wilbur's appearance in the barn. He had purchased his present, saving up the money collecting old bottles at odd hours, giving rides in the park on occasion, and a variety of tasks too numerous to mention. All with Wilbur being none the wiser.

He had delivered the present himself, early this morning . . . much to the surprise of the seller who found a "trained" horse with the money in an envelope with written instructions to boot.

The present was behind the barn, out of sight of Wilbur, Carol and the Addisons alike.

"It feels good to be so good!" chuckled Mister Ed to himself.

Wilbur was often late these mornings, not leaving Carol until nearly mid-morning. A telephone call to Wilbur's office led to frequent disaster.

Wilbur would think it was Carol, and knock over his pencils, protractor, ruler in a nervous rush to answer the phone.

Still, he wasn't half as bad as Addison.

From the stall door he could see Kay and Addison in their yard. Addison was busy working in his garden, while Kay was relaxing on lawn recliner reading a book.

On Addison's insistence, Kay was lying atop several pillows, had a small canopy pitched over her, a scarf tied around her head and a blanket on her legs. She also had pitchers of iced tea and lemonade at her side. Not to mention an ice pack and a hot water bottle lying in wait, should she need either or both them.

"Oh, come on doll! This is ridiculous!" complained Kay.

"What is!" asked Addison, quickly abandoning his weeding to rush to his wife's side. "Are you alright, my dear? Too warm? Too cold? Too sunny? Too shady?"

"Too babied," said Kay bluntly. "I appreciate the concern but you're going overboard."

"Nothing is too good for my Kay!" countered Addison.

"How about a new mink coat!" Kay replied.

"Gladly," said Addison.

"Oh dear," said Kay, nervously. "You'd better sit down, Addison. "The excitement is too much for you."

"But darling . . . " started Addison.

With that Kay stood up, carried another chair over, firmly guided Addison down handing him a glass of lemonade.

"There we are doll. You just sit here beside mother until you feel better and think about what you said. I'll be lying down right beside you.

"Thank you my dear" Addison gasped.

"People," said Mister Ed, shaking his head.

Presently, Wilbur entered the barn. Wilbur was very calm, all things considered. He only rattled the door a little while trying to open it the wrong way, and knocked over a pencil or two while sitting at his desk.

"Hey, buddy boy," said Mister Ed. "Why don't you look behind the barn?"

"Not right now," said Wilbur, nervously eying the telephone. "I've got work to do."

"No wonder," Mister Ed remarked. "You've been looking more at that phone than at your plans!"

"I am not," Wilbur replied. "I'm working as hard as ever."

"Then how about taking a short break and looking at what I have for you behind the barn!"

"Okay, Ed," sighed Wilbur. "I'm curious to see what you have up your . . . hooves."

Wilbur followed Mister Ed outside the barn, ensuring that the barn door remained open behind him - all the better to hear the telephone.

"Suprise!" said Mister Ed proudly.

It was a shiny black four-wheel buggy with white wheels, and canopy overhead.

"This is great" said Wilbur. "But . . . how much did it cost?"

"Nothing . . . I worked for it and paid the bill myself," Mister Ed answered.

"Amazing!" said Wilbur, looking at the shiny vehicle.

"I can carry you, Carol, and the baby around in it on a drive . . . while until the baby is old enough to learn how to ride," Mister Ed explained. "I can even carry the Addisons if they decide to sneak along."

"Why Ed!" said Wilbur. "I don't know what to say."

"How about a thank you . . . and some of those fresh apples you've got hidden in your filing cabinet?"

"Okay, Ed" said Wilbur. "Thank you."

Mister Ed followed Wilbur back into the barn where he watched him clumsily open the filing cabinet and drop the bag of apples.

"So Wilbur . . . when are you and Carol expecting the baby?" said Mister Ed.

Wilbur dropped the apples he had picked up.

"Any day now," said Wilbur, starting to gather the apples again.

"Humans" Mister Ed muttered to himself as he returned to his stall.


	7. Call From the Commerce Bank

Call from the Commerce Bank

The next day, no sooner had Wilbur knocked over his morning quota of pencils (and a cup of coffee too this time), than the telephone rang.

"Carol!" shouted Wilbur, falling backward on his chair.

"Here let me answer it" said Mister Ed, while Wilbur picked himself up.

"Hello, Wilbur Post's office" said Mister Ed.

"Hello" said a rather aggravated voice. "This is Milburn Drysdale, President of the Commerce Bank of Beverley Hills. Is Wilbur Post in?"

"Yes. But I'm just another client . . . Flood's my name."

"What, is your first name Elmer?" joked Mr. Dysdale.

"F-L-O-O-D, Flood," replied Mister Ed irritably. "I'm building an addition to my house."

"Bully for you," snapped Mr. Drysdale. "My bank's new skyscraper needs Mr. Post's immediate attention!"

"Never mind Ed," said Wilbur, taking the telephone. "Hello, who is it?"

"It's Milburn Drysdale," Mr. Drysdale repeated shortly. "I need you to come over immediately. Seems as if theirs been a snag with our new office building."

"What's wrong?" asked Wilbur.

"There's been a mess with the building department. The Clampetts . . . er, somebody built a barn of a bank on the site of our new skyscraper. Before we could remove it, the Beverley Hills building inspector condemned it and demanded to see our plans for the new high rise. I managed to book a meeting with the mayor and the building committee so we can straighten this out."

"When's the meeting?" asked Wilbur.

"One hour" said Mr. Drysdale. "Oh, make sure you bring your plans and all your notes!"

"I can't . . . I'm having a baby any day . . . hour . . . or minute!" said Wilbur frantically.

"You?" said Mr. Drysdale, in the curious tone of voice people use when they have one eyebrow raised.

"My wife!" Wilbur clarified.

"So, let her call a cab, or an ambulance" scoffed Mr. Drysdale. "If we don't straighten this out, the project will be delayed for years while the bank gets new permits and untangles a mile of Beverly Hills red tape. If it comes to that, you can rest assured that you won't be the architect."

"I'll see what I can do," said Wilbur noncommittal.

"I'll see you in my office in about an hour!" said Mr. Drysdale.

About one-half hour later

. . .

"I'll take care of Carol," Addison told Wilbur, as he helped Carol out of the Posts' Studebaker. "She'll be perfectly alright here. Carol . . . would you like a hot water bottle, an ice pack?"

"I'll take care of Carol, Addison doll" Kay said. "Now you give Addison Carol's suitcase and we'll have a good time going over baby names until you come back."

"I thought we already settled on the, admittedly not very original, but highly serviceable names of Roger or Kay junior."

"Oh, it never hurts to go over the _Big Book of Baby Names _again," said Kay.

"It'll be fun, Roger," said Carol.

"Why Kay bought that book I'll never know," Addison told Wilbur as their wives went inside the Addison's home. "All the worthwhile names are the common ones in everyday use. Kay has started to grow alarmingly fond of boy's names like Xavier, Wolfgang and Ransom."

"Ransom?" laughed Wilbur, as he returned to his car. "I'd never name my son anything that brought to mind an Oldsmobile. It's Studebakers for me!"

Wilbur drove off.

"Studebaker Addison," mused Addison. "At any rate, it would be better than Xavier or Wolfgang."

_Note:_

_Mr. Drysdale is a character from the Beverley Hillbillies. In one episode of the Beverley Hillbillies, the Clampetts mistake a ground breaking ceremony for a "bank raising" and build a barn-like bank during the night for Drysdale after everyone else leaves._

_Granny (of the Beverley Hillbillies) appears in one episode of Mister Ed, offering to give Wilbur Post some of her spring tonic._

_Studebaker sponsored Mister Ed, and Wilbur Post, of course, drives one. Ransom Olds founded Oldsmobile. No offence meant to Oldsmobiles - Too bad both makes are gone! When I was a kid my father drove a comfortable Oldsmobile Cutlass._


	8. Carol Goes to the Hospital

Carol Goes to the Hospital

"I'd better keep an eye on the Addisons" said Mr. Ed to himself. "Wilbur would want to know if something happened."

He yawned.

"Looks like it'll be a nice calm day," said Mister Ed. "Wilbur needn't worry."

The sun shined brightly while the birds went about the garden. Mister Ed went out into the yard, stood by the fence and tried to eavesdrop on Carol and the Addisons. However, whatever they were saying they were saying quietly.

"Ah, well" said Mister Ed. "Nothing to do but stand around, sleeping and swatting flies."

Eventually, he began to doze. While he snoozed his shadow shortened to almost nothingness, and then moved from his west to his east. The gentle breeze began to pick up as the sun shone less brightly, and was obscured by heavy clouds. The birds went to their nests and stopped singing.

A twig snapped from a nearby tree, and hit Mister Ed in the side.

"Oof," he said, jolting awake. "Looks like it's getting stormy."

In more ways than one. A commotion broke out as the Addisons and Carol made their way through the Addison front door.

"I have the suitcase" said Addison, as if this was the most important thing in the world.

"I'll call Wilbur," said Kay.

"And I'll get in the car," said Carol. "As soon as its unlocked."

Carol made her way to the door of the Addison's attractive Studebaker Avanti. The Addisons, however, were tripping over one another trying to make their way to the car.

"If only we could unlock cars by remote control!" sighed Addison, as he fumbled with the keys.

"If only we could unlock the trunk by remote control!" complained Kay, who had grabbed the suitcase from her husband and was waiting impatiently nearby.

"If only we could get on our way!" said Carol.

Eventually, and with a shaky hand, Addison unlocked the car door, the trunk, and entered the car with Carol, but not Kay.

"Kay, you can't stay home!" insisted Addison, although he was almost drowned out by a sudden gust of wind.

"Of course I can," said Kay. "Somebody has to be here when Wilbur gets home. I haven't been able to reach him at the Commerce Bank."

"Kay, please come with us," pled Carol. "You can call Wilbur from the hospital!"

"Relax Addison doll," Kay said to her husband. "Don't worry Carol," she told her neighbour. "I"ll be alright. If anything happens, I'll call a taxicab or an ambulance . . . and it's pretty unlikely that it'll _also_ be today."

"But Kay . . ." started Addison.

"The important thing is to get Carol to the hospital," Kay answered firmly.

Addison reluctantly started the car, and drove off.


	9. News Blackout

News Blackout

"I'll relay the information to Wilbur Post, right away!" said Miss Hathaway, Mr. Drysdale's secretary.

She was a highly intelligent, very scrupulous, but exceeding plain young woman.

"How beautiful," she said to herself. "A baby. An _enfante_. Perchance one fine day I will enter the holy bonds of matrimony and be blessed by a visit from the stork!"

She pictured herself marrying Jethro Bodine. Bodine was the idiot nephew of Jed Clampett, the hillbilly multimillionaire. Her reflections, however, were interrupted by the sudden appearance of Mr. Drysdale.

"Excellent news, chief!" relayed Miss Hathaway. "Mrs. Post is currently in transit. She will presently arrive at the hospital where the stork shall present her with a little visitor!"

"I take it," said Mr. Drysdale, long acquainted with his secretary's loquaciousness, "you mean she's having the baby?"

"Let's not be crude!" Miss Hathaway exclaimed.

"If Lucy and Ricky could have a baby on _I Love Lucy_ . . . using those exact words . . . I don't see why Mr. And Mrs. Post can't have one in real life."

"Perhaps," said Miss Hathaway doubtfully.

"Well, anyway that is good news" conceded Mr. Drysdale. "But I forbid you to tell Mr. Post."

"But chief . . . ." started Miss Hathaway.

"Not another word," said Mr. Drysdale firmly. "We're finally making progress, and should have everything sorted out in a few hours."

"Mrs. Addison . . . the Posts' neighbour . . . requested that I relay the information!" insisted Miss Hathaway.

"Then _relay_ this: Mr. Post and I have left for city hall and can't be reached," said Mr. Drysdale. "Mr. Post will be home in three or four hours."

"I won't be a party to such a shameful deception."

"Shameful deception," scoffed Mr. Drysdale. "All I'm doing is saving Wilbur a few miserable hours pacing in a waiting room with the other nervous wrecks."

"Nonsense" argued Miss Hathaway.

"You help me with this shameful deception, or I'll find a new secretary who will," Mr. Drysdale replied. "And just so you don't spill the beans later, I want you gone for the day . . . take these papers to Jed Clampett."

Miss Hathaway crossed her arms, pouted . . . and started to dial the phone.

"I knew I could trust you," Mr. Drysdale replied oilily.

_Miss Hathaway is Mr. Drysdale's secretary on the Beverley Hillbillies, and is in love with Jethro Bodine for most of the earlier seasons._

_Lucy Ricardo "had a baby" in the second season of I Love Lucy_


	10. The Dark and Stormy Night

The Dark and Stormy Night

Mister Ed had returned to his stall as the sky grew steadily darker. Mister Ed closed his stall doors as a heavy rain began. The rain pounded on the roof, and blown by the wind, hammered on the outside walls.

"I hope Kay was able to reach Wilbur," thought Mister Ed.

Mister Ed wasn't content to merely hope. He lifted and dropped the receiver of the telephone, picked up a pencil in his mouth, dialling zero. Mister Ed again picked up the receiver.

"Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills," he requested.

However, he unable to get Mr. Drysdale, or even Mr. Drysdale's personal secretary.

"Hmph," said Mister Ed. "I hope Kay had better luck than I did.

But of course, she hadn't.

Lightning zigzagged now and then across the inky black sky, and now the wind howled eerily.

"Go away storm," said Mister Ed, as he munched a late dinner. "Don't you know this is California!"

A nearby crash startled Mister Ed.

"I'd better try Wilbur again" he thought.

However, when he tried the telephone all he could hear was a strange crackling and an unearthly hum.

"Uh-oh," said Mister Ed. "Luckily Carol's at the hospital. I hope Wilbur's not fool enough to rush home in this weather . . . Well, luckily he drives a Studebaker. It's the next best thing to a horse.

It was now nine o'clock in the evening.

Mister Ed decided that this was a good night to wear his nightcap, embroidered with his name in large blue letters.

"With this storm ringing in my ears" Mister Ed said, tossing it on expertly with his mouth, "and Carol in the hospital, I'll never be able to sleep without this cap on my head."

So Mister Ed slept, while the storm raged outside


	11. Once again, to the Hospital

Once Again, to the Hospital

Mister Ed was jolted awake by another large crash as the storm continued to rage outside.

"One o'clock" yawned Mister Ed peering through the darkness. "What can that be?"

Misted Ed tried to turn on the light, only to discover that there wasn't any power.

Reluctantly, he pushed open his stall door, and was greeted for his trouble by some piling rain.

"Ugh" he said, as he peered outside. "Uh-oh."

In spite of the storm, Mister Ed galloped outside.

Next door Wilbur had finally returned from Beverley Hills . . . just as a tree limb had fallen onto the driveway, and right onto his Studebaker.

Wilbur was alright, so was the tree for that matter. However, the Studebaker's windshield was throughly smashed.

Wilbur, in fact, had just left the car, and was standing with his hand still on the car door, momentarily shocked.

Kay, who had stayed up late, ran out the Addison front door, throughly bundled up and with a suitcase in hand.

"Wilbur!" she shouted into the storm. "It's about time!"

"How's Carol? Where's Roger?"

"_They_ left for the hospital _hours _ago!"

"The hosp . . . hospital? But what about you?"

"I stayed to call you . . . and Addison stayed at the hospital to wait until you arrived," Kay explained somewhat impatiently. "And _here you are_."

"Well . . . I'll call a taxi and get to the hospital!"

"A cab?"

Wilbur stepped aside, showing Kay the limb and smashed car.

"Addison and his precious trees! We need to get to the hospital right away!

"_We_?" asked Wilbur.

"_We_" said Kay. "You arrived just in time. I was going to run to one of the neighbours!"

"What about the . . . the telephone?" asked Wilbur nervously.

"Out . . . just like the electricity."

"I'll go and get one of the neighbours" Wilbur offered.

"I'll go with you," offered Kay. "It won't be easy to wake them up in this rain."

Indeed it wouldn't be. The houses in their rural neighbourhood were spaced far apart, the time of night and the noise of the storm would make it very hard to get anybody's attention or have anyone let them in.

Suddenly, they were greeted by the clattering of a horses's hooves along the driveway. Mister Ed had someone managed to hitch himself to the carriage.

"We can take the buggy!" said Wilbur.

"_How on earth . . . ._" started Kay.

"I'll take your suitcase," offered Wilbur.

He took the suitcase, not without some fumbling, and placed it in the buggy. He then helped the reluctant Kay into the conveyance.

Wilbur managed to close the sides, so Kay at least, was sheltered from the rain.

"Well, it's better than nothing" Kay said resignedly. "But Addison's not going to like it!"

Meanwhile, Wilbur at the reigns told Mister Ed "Like the wind Ed, and as smooth as possible!"

Mister Ed nodded, and sped away into the night.


	12. The Blessed Events

The Blessed Events

Within a half an hour, Wilbur and Kay had arrived at the front entrance of the local hospital. By the time they had entered the dimly lit front lobby, Mister Ed and the buggy were nowhere to be seen.

"Must have gone home to his stall!" thought Wilbur. "And I didn't even get to say thank you!"

_Before another five minutes went by, the panicking Addison had taken charge of Kay._

_Before another ten minutes had gone, Wilbur was pacing up and down the waiting room. _

_After another fifteen minutes, Addison had returned to the same chair where he had nervously held vigil all day. _

_Five minutes later, Addison had fallen asleep._

_Two and a half minutes hadn't gone by when the nurse came for Wilbur Post._

"Mr. Post," said the attractive young redhead.

"Yes" said Wilbur, halting midstride.

"Congratulations! You're a father!"

"A father!" said Wilbur.

However, there was no one else to congratulate him, as Addison was the only one in the waiting room . . . and audibly snoring.

"It is a boy or a girl?" asked Wilbur as he followed the nurse down the hallway.

"One boy and one girl," said the nurse, with a kind smile.

"TWINS!" Wilbur exclaimed, again stopping mid-stride.

"Yes, twins," said the nurse, kindly leading Wilbur along to Carol's room.

"Carol!" said Wilbur, as soon as he saw her.

"Wilbur" she replied.

She was lying down in her hospital bed, holding one of the twins.

The nurse handed Wilbur the other.

"Is this our son or our daughter?" said Wilbur awkwardly, as Carol laughed.

"Check the bracelet," said the nurse.

"My son," chuckled Wilbur, looking at the blue plastic bracelet.

"Let's name them" said Carol, "Wilbur and Carol Junior"

"Yes," said Wilbur. "There's no better names than those"

Meanwhile, in the waiting room Roger Addison was still fast asleep. He was rudely awaken by a heavy-set middle aged nurse.

"_Mr. Addison_," the nurse said severely. "Imagine _sleeping_ at a time like this!"

"Sleeping" yawned Addison. "Where am I? Where's Kay?"

"Really!" the nurse scolded. "You're at the hospital, and _your wife _and _your son _are waiting for you to join them.

"My . . ._ son_?" inquired Addison. "I'm a _father_?"

"Don't tell me this is your first?" exclaimed the nurse, with a searching glare. "At your age? Well, well, robbed the cradle, didn't you?

"I'm on the sunny side of fifty!" Addison replied stuffily, raising himself to his full height. "And I'll have you know that I'm only a . . . few years older than my wife !"

"And Jack Benny is only thirty-nine!" the nurse laughed.

"Are you going to take me to my wife and child, or should I return to the lobby and ask for directions?" said Addison acidly.

"Very well," said the nurse. "Down the corridor, take your second right, and then enter the fifth door on your left. I'm busy, so you'll have to find the room yourself."

"Gladly," said Addison, marching stiffly down the corridor.

After some trouble, Addison found the correct corridor, ward and room. In the room he found Kay Addison, his son, and an elderly nurse preparing a basinet for the newborn.

"Addison," said Kay warmly, "Isn't he a little darling?

"Isn't he?" said Addison, atypically choking up with tears. "Isn't he?"

"There, there, doll," said Kay. "Why don't you hold him?"

"Here Mr. Addison," said the old nurse kindly, displaying how the baby should be held, "like this."

"To think," said Addison. "Father and mother after all these years!"

"How wonderful for you both!" the nurse said blissfully.

"Yes," said Kay. "All that he needs now is the right name . . . but that can wait."

"The right name . . . the right school . . . the right car . . . the right college . . . the right profession . . . the right wife," mused Addison, "But that can all wait."

"Yes, Mr. Addison," said the nurse, handing Addison his son. "for all that, there'll be plenty of time!"

Elsewhere in the hospital, Wilbur Post was standing in a corridor viewing the sleeping Wilbur and Carol Juniors. . . . through the window that looked onto the nursery. He was startled by a knocking on the window opposite, the one that led outside. The rain had finally stopped . . . and Mister Ed had returned and was now at the window looking into the hospital corridor.

"Ed," said Wilbur, opening the window. "You shouldn't be here!"

"A fine thanks I get," complained Mister Ed. "Exhausting myself and nearly catching my death of cold trying to take you and Kay to the hospital!"

"You're right Ed,' said Wilbur. "I'm sorry . . . you're the hero of the hour. Without you, Kay'd never had been able to get here on time!"

"That's better," said Mister Ed.

"But what if someone sees you?" added Wilbur nervously. "I could get into real trouble."

"Don't worry, Wilbur," said Mister Ed. "I won't stay for long. But I think it's unfair . . . humans loiter around newborn horses, so why can't horses go into hospitals to see newborn humans?"

"I don't make the rules," said Wilbur, evading the question.

"If you did, would you allow horses into the hospital?"

"I . . . well, I'd allow you in," answered Wilbur.

"And I"d allow you into the stable,' said Mister Ed generously. "But only after the mother and father had the chance to spend time with their new colt. Speaking of colts, which one is it?"

"Speaking of _children_," Wilbur corrected, "They're the two in the middle. The baby with the blue blanket is Wilbur Post Jr. The baby with the pink blanket is Carol Post Jr.

"Twins? Congratulations, Wilbur. They're perfect . . . for people.

"Well . . . thank you Ed," said Wilbur, not sure whether he was thankful for _that_.

"How's Kay?" asked Ed.

"I heard the Addisons just had a baby boy," said Wilbur.

"Good, maybe old brush face'll soften up now!"

"He's not old brush face," Wilbur replied.

"Okay . . . Addison then," Mister Ed said.

The two were interrupted in their conversation but the sound of an orderly rolling a bed down the corridor.

"Ed," warned Wilbur.

"Going buddy boy," said Mister Ed reluctantly. "And once again . . . congratulations."

Wilbur managed to close the window before the orderly came by.

Jack Benny, self-described (and actual)"star of stage, screen, radio and television" was famous for claiming to be thirty-nine years old . . . for over forty years!


	13. Mister Ed's Cold

Mister Ed's Cold

Wilbur wasn't sure whether Mister Ed had caught a cold in the storm or was merely faking. The symptoms didn't appear until a couple of days after Carol and the twins had returned from the hospital. But given the circumstances, Wilbur pampered Mister Ed almost as much as his son and daughter.

However, after nearly a week of helping Carol with the children, _and _babying Mister Ed_, _Wilbur was fed up with the hypochondriac horse. At any rate, he was falling behind in his work.

"I should have never gone out that night!" complained Mister Ed. "Please take care of me, Wilbur. I'm freezing cold"

"You have a blanket on," Wilbur replied irritably. "I've also given you two hot water bottles, and put all four of your hooves into pails of warm water!"

"Holler but don't hit" cried the horse.

Wilbur's intended reply was preempted by the appearance of Addison at the stall door.

"What's wrong with Mister Ed?" Addison asked.

"Oh, he's just faking," scoffed Wilbur.

Mister Ed snorted.

"I wouldn't say that," said Addison . "Be careful there, that's a valuable horse you've got"

Wilbur looked at Addison in shock, and Mister Ed turned his head so quickly that both hot water bottles dropped to the ground.

"By word of explanation" Addison began, "Kay told me of your heroism . . . and Mister Ed's, admittedly surprising, but invaluable contribution."

"Thanks Roger,"

"No need," said Addison eloquently,. "As a token of my gratitude, as long as he lives Mister Ed will be entitled to have a _. . . reasonable_ number of apples from my tree."

Mister Ed nodded his approval.

"I only ask that someday I be permitted to teach Roger Junior to ride upon this mighty steed," Addison added.

"Of course," said Wilbur, while unobserved by Addison, Mister Ed also nodded his approval. " . . . So, you decided to name your son Roger after all."

"Yes," said Addison. "Roger Edward Addison."

Ed whinnied in surprise, while Wilbur asked "After Ed?"

"No . . . ." Addison denied. "Let's not forget that there were eight English kings named Edward!"

"Of course," said Wilbur.

Wilbur's office telephone began to ring.

"How about I take care of Mister Ed for you this afternoon?" Addison offered. "Roger Junior's asleep, and Kay tells me you need to get caught up on your work."

"Well, thanks Roger," said Wilbur, as he left to answer the phone.

"I'll go and fill those hot water bottles," Addison told Mister Ed.

Mister Ed watched Addison leave, greatly amused.

"Look's like the beginning of a beautiful friendship" Mister Ed observed. "Well, the end of a beautiful enemy-ship at least."

The End


End file.
